Indian politics has been a hilarious circus lately. Take Maharashtra, for instance: both the ruling party and the opposition have their own versions of Shiv Sena and NCP, and even the ministers can’t tell who runs the state or which party they’re actually in. Bihar, meanwhile, has cooked up its own political equations, with a potential to rewrite the national status-quo.
With all the controversies around vote chori and resort politics, what seems fascinating this time is not who wins the election, but how Nitish Kumar decides to leverage his position.
Bihar's Coalition Carousel
Meet Nitish Kumar, the ever-adaptable Chief Minister in power for nearly 20 years, 9 terms, and 3 different coalitions. He's partnered with everyone: the Bharatiya Janata Party, Rashtriya Janata Dal, across the spectrum, across ideologies. Ideologies change, slogans change, partners change… but the CM? Bihar's only regular feature is Nitish Kumar's oath-taking ceremony. Rumor has it he’s already negotiating with Tej Pratap Yadav, just in case the Janshakti Janta Dal manages to win half a seat.
We also have Prashant Kishor, the poll strategist/analyst/aid (don’t get angry please) turned politician, with his new Jan Suraaj Party. Once the man behind the victories of Narendra Modi, Mamata Banerjee, and Nitish Kumar himself, Kishor now promises a ‘new Bihar,’ which, according to voters, likely means ‘the same Bihar, just with more analysis on potholes.’
The National Math Problem
For the BJP, winning Bihar isn't just state politics, it's national arithmetic. Without JD(U)'s numbers, Lok Sabha calculations start sweating. This makes every Bihar election a high-stakes gamble, where the outcome of winning or losing the state assembly can trigger one of the biggest national political turnarounds in recent times.
What does Bihar's election circus reveal about Indian democracy? Regional parties hold enormous leverage precisely because national coalitions are fragile. Nitish Kumar's survival isn't just political opportunism; it's a masterclass in understanding that in Indian parliamentary democracy, numbers trump ideology. The BJP needs Bihar for its national ambitions. The RJD needs power to remain relevant. And Nitish? He just needs to keep everyone guessing. Bihar doesn't just elect governments. It elects possibilities, keeps them in suspended animation, and watches the political theatre unfold.
(Made using Sora)
Imagining the Aftermath
So, the results roll in, no party crosses the majority mark, and the political bazaar for horse-trading opens again. Resort owners in Assam and Goa are on standby, and this time, because the stakes are so high, even the Maldives (yes, everything is normal now) has been asked to keep its champagne chilled; remember Bihar is a dry state with frequent hooch tragedies.
Nitish Kumar: “I’m ready for my 10th term as Chief Minister. Bring me your proposals, I’m for the ‘Janta’ no matter where you place it!!
Tejashwi Yadav: “My dear Chacha, have you forgotten what happened to Eknathji in Maharashtra? He was CM one day and Deputy CM the next. BJP will dump you faster than Patna floods in monsoon!”
Amit Shah: I don’t want children interrupting. Ask your father to come to the table or should I call his lawyer from Ranchi Jail?
Lalu Prasad Yadav: Arre dhut! Tejashwi is the rightful heir. He has all the qualities to become CM, especially the patience to wait till 2050!
Voter 1 (Raghopur Constituency): We’ve voted RJD since before Wi-Fi existed (still doesn’t exist here, anyway), but every time, Nitishwa becomes the CM. At this point, I think even if we vote for Zohran Mamdani, Nitish will still form the government.
Voter 2: I voted for Jan Suraaj this time. Thought it was about good governance. Guess what, now they’re with BJP. I’m beginning to lose hope… and my voter ID.
Reporter: So who’s forming the government, SIR? Our ground report found that a certain Larissa Nery cast 22 votes across constituencies under different names: Larissa Devi, L. Nervy, Lari Swaha, and Nervy Kumar. Quite a dedicated voter, I must say that too from a country far off but this casts doubts on the elections, which seem to have neither been free nor fair.
Election Commission (sighs, adjusting spectacles): At this point, it doesn’t matter. Whichever side Nitish sits on... becomes the government. Regarding your report, we are investigating it and will potentially send Rahul behind the bars for questioning us..anti-international.
The Eternal Return
As the swearing-in ceremony begins, Nitish Kumar smiles for the 101th time in 25 years, adjusting his shawl as the national anthem plays. In the background, Tejashwi mutters, “One day, chacha, one day…”
Meanwhile, a voice from the crowd (Voter 1 again) whispers: Elections seem to be the only thriving business these days, I need to start a party soon – Janta Jaago Jaldi party, to work with, Nitishji.